Hope that goes beyond loss

Hope Amid Two Deaths and A Betrayal

MP: Hope that God will restore the world, including us, gives us power to press on in obedience and love.  

Connection/Tension

When is the last time you gave up hope about something? I have an amazing daughter who sometimes can be very moody towards me, and other times totally rejects me for her mother. I can despair in some of those moments and say in my heart, “fine, I don’t need you. I’m just going to go do chores or something” and walk off.

What happened in that moment is I lost hope that there was a path for our relationship to improve. And the loss of hope made me colder and lack love in that moment- I acted with more evil and less connection than I should have.  

What if one of the most corrupting influences in your life was an acceptance of despair over part or all your life? If that’s the case, what is the pathway out of despair for you and for me? How can we become more noble men and women this morning by becoming aware of the corrupting power of despair and fighting against it?

Context

Welcome to the end of our sermon series, The Life of Jacob that we began back in March of this year. This final sermon is one of Jacob coming to terms with death and betrayal in his family- he must go through and process his mid-life crisis to keep following God in his new life as his child.

Revelation

I.                    The first of two deaths

16 Then they journeyed from Bethel. When they were still some distance from Ephrath, Rachel went into labor, and she had hard labor. 17 And when her labor was at its hardest, the midwife said to her, “Do not fear, for you have another son.” 18 And as her soul was departing (for she was dying), she called his name Ben-oni; but his father called him Benjamin. 19 So Rachel died, and she was buried on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem), 20 and Jacob set up a pillar over her tomb. It is the pillar of Rachel’s tomb, which is there to this day. 21 Israel journeyed on and pitched his tent beyond the tower of Eder.

Here we see Jacob and his family continue to journey, it’s mentioned three times in these few verses. What’s the significance? For someone to be on a journey, does it not imply that they are not yet home?

This is one of the main story beats of the Bible, that God’s people live outside of Eden, away from home, and are therefore in exile, wandering through this world, awaiting their arrival at true home (Gen 3:24). To be away in exile, wandering implies the experience of loss and death (Jacob will have his fill of both in this story). The journey has a destination, home, so it’s hope-shaped. Yet, it also has a location, not home, so it’s also loss shaped.

In this passage, there are three mini stories where Jacob experiences significant loss. Each of these losses could lead to despair, but rather the details of the story point to and give way to hope instead. Despair teaches that loss is final and irreversible. Hope believes victory and life are final and irreversible. And which one of those things wins in your heart will determine the moral choices you make for the rest of your life.

Now, in this first story, we find Rachel giving birth and on her deathbed at the same time. She will even name her son as her life is slipping away. If there is a moment hope and despair mingle together, this is it. It’s confusing to know how to interpret this story- is it one of victory of defeat?

Things are getting difficult in the birth, and the midwife takes the first step of framing things in a hopeful light, “do not fear, for you have another son.” Kind of a strange statement right? This statement reflects the ancient view that your children are an extension of yourself and a way you continue in this world even after you die (and there is truth and wisdom in that view).

Yet, Rachel is overcome by fear/grief/pain in the face of death (understandably), and rather than sharing the midwife’s view, she names this new baby, “Ben-oni,” which means, “son of my suffering.” For Rachel, in this moment, despair is taking over and she gives this child a name tied to despair.

Yet, Jacob wisely and rightly steps in at this moment and renames his son, “Benjamin,” which translates to, “son of my right hand” and has an optimistic view of a good fortune and a good future ahead. This would have been an excruciating moment for Jacob- losing the wife he loved- yet, it seems like something beyond the present circumstance was motivating him to take hopeful action in the present. At this point in this life, he’s seen too much of what God has done to give into despair. Even in the face of tremendous loss, he maintains his confidence in God’s power and character to shape a good destiny for his family. He reframes the situation and gives his child a name that will encourage rather than discourage him.

Notice also where Rachel dies and is buried- on the way to Bethlehem- the very place where one of Jacob’s descendants will give birth in destress to a child who will make death go away forever. Moses and people in Moses’s day couldn’t have seen that connection when he wrote it, yet we as Christians, looking back at all God has accomplished, can see the patterns he worked into history- patterns that incline us towards hope.

And then Jacob sets up a pillar- a symbol of permanence in a changing, dying world. I imagine it images Jacob’s hope that for God’s people, death becomes the temporary reality and life the permanent one (although it seems the other way for us).

Like deaths of Abraham and Sarah before, I’m noticing imagery and details that points to hope and life beyond death in the story of these deaths. I’m noticing a shift from what should lead us to despair instead, kindling hope. The new testament says that “we do not grieve as those who do not have hope.”

I remember being with my great uncle when his life slipped away. His breathing slowed and then ceased…

There was a small group of us singing the hymn, “softly and tenderly Jesus is calling” over him as he passed away. It was a painful moment of loss, and it was filled with hope.

I wonder how many here today are reeling from an untimely death or dreading an impending death of someone you love or your own. Is that you this morning? Stories like these are there to remind us that for God’s people it’s life that’s permanent and death that’s temporary. We mourn death- yet we don’t collapse under its weight.

Also, in a death avoidant culture like our own, I want to call us to become ministers to the dying where we have opportunity. The culture worships youth and freedom, so death is an inconvenience it must avoid. Yet, our hope is not staying young and alive, it’s coming back to life.  

So, we should take opportunities to be close to rather than avoid people who are passing. When we were first married, Charlotte cared for her grandma through end of life and it enriched our home and the beginning of our marriage together.

We have older members in our church who are already or may soon begin to decline. It’s not the moment for us to withdraw because of a fear of death, but the moment for us to push in. Christians demonstrate their hope of another world by ministering to those who are in the process of leaving this one. It’s a testimony when we joyfully care for the dying that we don’t believe death is permanent.

II.                  In between two deaths: A betrayal.

22 While Israel lived in that land, Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine. And Israel heard of it.

Now the sons of Jacob were twelve. 23 The sons of Leah: Reuben (Jacob’s firstborn), Simeon, Levi, Judah, Issachar, and Zebulun. 24 The sons of Rachel: Joseph and Benjamin. 25 The sons of Bilhah, Rachel’s servant: Dan and Naphtali. 26 The sons of Zilpah, Leah’s servant: Gad and Asher. These were the sons of Jacob who were born to him in Paddan-aram.

Now, we move on to our second story that is the most difficult of these three to interpret. In the first story, Jacob must face untimely death, in this story, he must face betrayal from a firstborn son.

What’s happening here? Reuben is likely not motivated by lust as much in this story as by ambition to obtain power. He’s essentially trying to take his dad’s place and become the head of their tribal clan. This path of inappropriately grasping for power is present elsewhere in Scripture. I think this is likely what happened when Ham “saw his father’s nakedness” earlier in Genesis (9:22). Later, when David’s son Absolom rebels, he does the same thing with his father’s concubines (2 Sam 16:22).

Why this pattern? Those who are influenced by the serpent take the serpent’s path of usurping authority and position through illegitimate ways.

This would have been another big blow to Jacob. He had just lost his beloved wife. Now, his firstborn that he was likely hoping to raise up to clan leader had tried to take it from him and push him aside, showing himself to be unfit for being a leader. Jacob would have felt betrayal from his firstborn son- the very one he would look to for loyalty above all else.

Have you ever been shocked at someone else’s betrayal of you? I’ve met someone- our neighbor who just passed away- that when we proposed friendship with her, she declined on the basis that she was “afraid we might move away.” Clearly, someone had hurt her at some point and she had shut down her life because of self-preservation.

Are you still wounded from a betrayal that is costing you the ability to trust others and form meaningful relationships?

Well, the arc of this little story is also from despair to hope and should give the betrayed a sense of confidence to move forward with God’s will.

Look what follows Reubens betrayal. What is next? A full list of Jacob’s family and his twelve children. Derek Kidner points out that Benjamin’s birth in the last story makes Jacob’s family complete. Rachel named the last son she bore to Jacob “Joseph” which means “may the Lord add,” leaving us anticipating one more child- and now he is here and the family is completed.

From here on out, twelve becomes a number of completion that symbolizes the fulness of the people of God (that’s why there are twelve Apostles and twelve gates to the New Jerusalem). So, with this family list after a betrayal, we see a progression of what God does- out of chaos he brings forth completion. Reuben’s chaotic act would have threatened this family- yet God still brings this family to completion, and uses all twelve sons to bring forth offspring who would form and become his nation, Israel.

Also, Judah not becomes the next in line and through his line, the Messiah comes into the world.

I think one of the points here is that just like death, betrayal can’t stop God’s plans either- for you or for the world. I’m not saying don’t have boundaries with people and don’t act in wisdom, yet I also want to invite those who have shut down and closed the world off because of a to take a step forward in courageously knowing and relating. How else will God accomplish his full purpose for his life through you?

So far in this story, we have seen Jacob face death and betrayal on his journey God assigned to him, which sounds so much like Jesus, doesn’t it? Jesus didn’t just come to fulfill God’s plans, but also to pave the way for us to fulfill God’s plans for us in our time. A world with death and betrayal was not an opportunity for Jesus to flee or clamp down- it was an opportunity for him to minister!

My own heart feels burned out by a type of person I have ministered to over the last five years and I have felt mistreated. And I’ve said things to myself like, “never again.” Or, “avoid that kind of person.” The only problem is that without Jesus, I am that kind of person and he didn’t avoid me. So, I’m feeling challenged right now to believe in hope over despair and betrayal.

Despair says, “people will always hurt me so I have to hide from them.”

Hope says, “while I need to be wise, God changes even the worst of sinners so I need to be open to God doing something even someone else’s life, even if I’m skeptical.”  

III.                 A final death, Jacob’s father

27 And Jacob came to his father Isaac at Mamre, or Kiriath-arba (that is, Hebron), where Abraham and Isaac had sojourned. 28 Now the days of Isaac were 180 years. 29 And Isaac breathed his last, and he died and was gathered to his people, old and full of days. And his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.

I think this last story is the easiest one to detect the themes of hope amid loss. Jacob is reaching his late adult years. He has already had to say goodbye to his wife and now must say goodbye to his dad. His identity is now formed- he wanders in the same lands and spiritual paths as his fathers. No more is he the trickster or manipulator of his earlier years, he is a pilgrim in Canaan, and a follower of God. Like his forebearers, he also will not receive an inheritance of land- he will die in hope of God fulfilling all his promises. He believes not in seen things, but in things not yet seen and promised by God.

John Sailhamer points out that when Jacob left when running from Esau, his hope was to return to his “father’s home” (Gen 28:20). And now he arrives before he dies and gets to say goodbye.

Isaac dies, yet at no ordinary age. He had walked upon the earth for 180 years. He was “gathered to his people”, hinting that there is some sort of existence after this life. Also, he leaves this world “old and full of days.” He also leaves a family that had once been at war at peace- his two sons have put away their feud of their younger years and come together to bury their father.

Isaac’s long and full life are pictures of unending life and the way humans were supposed to live and will live again when Jesus returns to the world and makes all things new. His long life point us to the unending life we are longing for). Though Isaac dies in this story, life is everywhere promised. And there is Jacob in the middle of it all, being wrenched in all these directions by both joy and sorrow, and just having to keep taking steps of hope forward trusting his God. Would that be an accurate way to describe your life?

We have three little stories in this passage that touch on death, then betrayal, then death again. Yet, they each lead us not to these things, but to hope, victory, and life.

Christ/Church

How then, church, should we respond to these stories? Paul writes in Romans,

4 For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

We are supposed to read these stories, then look at the situations we face that tempt us to despair and move forward with a defiant sense of hope in God.

One quote that has stuck with me lately is from a book, Following Gandalf, which is basically about learning Christian lessens from Tolkien. The author writes, 

“Hope doesn’t see less reality; it sees more. [Christian] hope is not a hope that denies reality but one that sees more of reality.”

In other words, Christian hope doesn’t engage in denial- we recognize the real challenges and loss we face. Our sight just doesn’t stop there- we also see beyond to God’s character and wisdom and his plan to incorporate hard and evil things into a plan for blessing (Gen 50:20).

In the example of Jesus, he really hangs on a cross- we don’t avoid that- it’s sad; it’s brutal; it’s hard. Yet, despair only sees the cross. Hope sees the empty grave and the ascension on the other side. Hope sees more of reality. Do you see what I’m saying?

My brother has not seemed to care about God at all in his adult life (or about a relationship with me). Despair would accept that this is the way it’s always going to be and move on. Hope keeps praying. Hope acknowledges that his will is not the only one at work in the story of his life. Who or what in your life requires hope from God for you to keep taking steps forward in obedience and love? Obedience and love require hope because they are oriented towards the future whereas selfishness is oriented towards the present. That’s why despairing people become self-consumed.

I think Jacob goes on this path over the course of his life. In his younger life, he is selfishly grasping at blessing without any reference to the God of creation. In his older years, he’s taken up the path of his fathers, journeying through the world without abiding possessions yet with the hope of unending possessions. He acts with wisdom and restraint in these stories and navigates death and betrayal with wisdom and courage. The Lord Jesus Christ welcomes us into this same path.

Our main point this morning is, Hope that God will restore the world, including us, gives us power to press on in obedience and love. 

Let’s pray.